Skip to content

When Yes Means No

Have you ever accepted a dinner invitation and wish you hadn’t? Have you taken on a new client but knew they weren’t a good fit? Have you agreed to run an errand for a friend even though you didn’t have the time (or interest) to do so?

Have you said yes when you really meant no!?

You are not alone! The phenomena of “people pleasing” is real, universal, and sadly—more than common. It’s a learned social behavior.

And, it comes with a cost.

Giving our time and energy to others when we don’t feel our full “yes” can be detrimental to our physical and emotional health. As well as interfere with our time and work productivity.

I mean, who hasn’t dragged themselves through a task they dreaded (or worse) flaked at the last minute and created a lose-lose situation for all involved!?

I certainly have!

And when I really pay attention, I may be doing this kind of thing more often that I would like—giving my power away to people and things that don’t truly fill me up.

Like how I recently said yes to a catch-up call with a friend during a time when I knew I wanted to be working on my business. Or coaching a client who is less than ideal for my skill set. Or accepting a date with a man who I intuitively know is not a match.

Can you feel me?

Whether we say yes (and mean no) because of an old programmed habit, scarcity mindedness, or simply don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings—we are draining our inner resource, betraying our boundaries, and misaligning our integrity and truth.

When we say yes to things that are out of alignment for us, we take time away from the things that are in alignment for us. Straight up truth—we miss out on putting our attention, time, and energy on what matters most!

Let us remember that we are at choice.

That taking a pause before we respond to an ask is absolutely ok.

That slowing down to tune in to what is true for us is absolutely reasonable.

That collecting more information before we respond is absolutely sensible.

And, that asking for more details and information is absolutely Self care.

Giving ourselves time and spaciousness to discover what is really true for us is necessary. It helps us to be in alignment with our Self and gives us access to personal freedom—as well as, our goals, visions, and the things we want to accomplish in our life and business!

So, the next time you want to quickly say “yes”, give yourself permission to breathe, pause, and tune in. Allow yourself to get clear with your inner truth

And remember, that saying “no” to someone or something else, is often saying “yes” to you.

Thanks for your read here.

Did you enjoy this post?
I sincerely hope so!

 If you want to make sure to never miss one of my life-giving blogs, you can sign up to receive them right to your email inbox.