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How Do You Feel About Authentic Feedback?

I am in a long-distance committed relationship with my Boo. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, and I am now in Portugal. While our romance is just 6-months long, we have a long-term friendship of 11-years.

We have safety inside our partnership—which is key for what I am about to share with you …

The other night on a video call—after I was being snippy with him—I vulnerably and bravely asked for feedback: “Can you tell me about the impact that my sharpness had on you?”

With love, compassion, and connection, he shared the truth about how he felt.

First, he acknowledged that my day was hard, that he knows I didn’t mean any harm, and that he loves me.

Then, he spoke authentically about the impact of how it really landed for him.

And even though it was a hard for me to hear it—because no one likes to be in the face of how they f*cked up—I actually felt inspired. I felt interested in what he had to say, and I felt motivated to work on this savory part of me.

Receiving my Boo’s feedback got me thinking about how important it is to gather honest reflections—from people we trust—for our own growth.

And that there are certain people who seek out this kind of information. Trust me, it’s not just me!

Like Patricia! My executive coaching client who is a high-powered Managing Director of a financial consulting firm. She is a fellow seeker and has been on the path of self-development—with my support—for over two years.

💪🏻 She wants to understand about how her communication style impacts her co-workers, clients, family, and friends.
💪🏻 She wants to know how her stress levels affect her personal and professional goals.
💪🏻 She wants to grasp how her life-work (im)balance is perceived in the eyes of others.

So, with her consent (and exuberance), I performed a 360 assessment where I spoke confidentially with people from her personal and professional worlds. People who know her, love her, and want the best for her. People whom she has safety with. People who reflected the truth in service to her growth. 

Besides it being an honor to have conversations with Patricia’s peoples, it was a delight to share it with her.

Of course, like me with my Boo, she had some natural nervousness to hear the truth, but Patricia was wide open to take in the feedback.

Why?

Because she knows that feedback—and how other people experience her—is key for her to know herself better, to deepen her relationships, to get more aligned with her values, to bring her closer to her goals, and to become a better leader.  

When you receive honest feedback from people you trust—especially when it’s done with skill—it can help you to understand how you are being perceived. It can also help you to appreciate your strengths and the areas where you need development. And, it can give you insights and guidance for what to improve so that you can create an action plan to reach your goals.

It’s what Leaders of Love do.

You commit to your inner growth so that you can have your outer desired results.

You prioritize knowing yourself so that you can have intimacy with your Self and others.

You seek feedback so that you can break free from old patterns and behaviors and form new and healthy ones.

Receiving intel about yourself, and then taking ACTION on it, is critical if you want to grow into a better version of YOU. But, it is essential that it is done with care and skill and with people whom you trust.

This may require the support of a trusted ally.

I am the kind of Coach who will hold you accountable to the goals you say you want for yourself; and will talk to your people to find out what might be getting in your way. I create deep trusting relationships with my clients, so they feel safe for this transformational and empowering work. If you feel inspired to step into your own deep inner work, I invite you to schedule a private exploration call with me

But really dear One, how do YOU feel about authentic feedback? If you’d like, you can send me a message and let me know!

Thanks for your read here.

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