Five years ago my life changed for the better. It didn’t seem that way at the time, but as I look back today at the commitment I made to myself then, I am absolutely certain, it was the best decision I ever made.
In the Summer of 2016, I was broken. I was living “home-free”, had a new injury on my driving foot, was lonely AF, searching for approval outside of myself, desperately wanting a romantic relationship and my brain chemistry was off with feelings of depression.
Sharing my woes with my dear friend LeahRose (mentor, coach, leader & she-preneur), she made a wise, powerful, inspiring statement. With a fierce influential tone, she said, “You need to marry yourself. You need to choose yourself. You need to stop looking for love and happiness outside of yourself.”
I took her words to heart. It was easy. I was distraught.
And so I took out my iphone calendar and we scheduled for eight days later. A ritualized date to mark a day in time that I would claim my Self. That I would choose my Life. That I would become my very own Beloved.
On July 24th, at the Piedmont Cometary in Oakland California, LeahRose and I held ceremony. An earth ceremony where we honored the land, the four directions, my ancestors, and the more-than-humans. A death ceremony where I let go of conditioning and old ways of being that were keeping me stuck, small & sad. A commitment ceremony where I stated vows that I would honor, stand and live by. A love ceremony where I chose all parts of me.
Since that date, five years ago, I have been living my life in loving relationship with my Self. I wear a ring to remind me that I am my beloved. I have commitments that I obey and keep me in check. I date, romance, and make love to myself. I have care, kindness and contentment in my self-talk. I am attuned, confident, trusting and authentic. I have relationships that fill me, rather than deplete me. I know and feel my wholeness.
I am proud to say that I am in a healthy marriage with my Self.
And, because I choose this, a life-style of self-loving and inner union, I know I am enough.
Of course, I am human and have days of struggle, feelings of sadness and seasons of insecurity. But I know myself and I can catch her. I listen, I tend, I feel and I love.
I truly know myself to have the skillset and inner-resourcing to ride the waves of life.
So yes, marrying myself on July 24th, 2016 – by far was the best decision I ever made!
Dear one, If you are feeling broken and lonely, searching for love, happiness and answers outside of yourself, I want you to know that self-love is the answer. When you love yourself, the whole world opens up.
Do you need more self-love in your life? Can you imagine making such a radical act and fully choosing your Self? Leave a comment below and let me know if you’re up for it, I’d love to hear from you!