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Three Difficult Conversations

Recently, I had not one or two but—three “difficult conversations.” I put that in quotes because while they were challenging issues to navigate and I was called to speak up and share my edgy truth with dear friends—who quite honestly, I was afraid to hurt or worse, lose—the conversations turned out to be beautiful, connective, and loving.

For all of us.

No yelling, no blaming, no shaming.

I share this with you because it seems like lately interpersonal conflict is in the air—not only for me, but for my clients and peers, too.

Whether it is a disagreement over political beliefs, an online scuffle, or an intimate relationship clash—kind-hearted and repair conversations where we softly and powerfully speak our truths are possible. And necessary, especially if we want to have harmony in our relationships, (and world!)

My recent three clearing conversations were profound. Profound in that we navigated through with love, kindness, and care—and without drawn-out drama.

I am inspired to share with you what worked so well, because God knows we need more kind-loving communication in the world. And, in case you ever are in conflict and want tools to communicate from an empowered, healthy, and kind-hearted voice—where you embody radical Self care and benevolence for your fellow human.

Things like …

Gaining consent by asking if the other person was ‘interested, available and open’ to having a clearing conversation. Scheduling that time assured we were both consensually ready to talk.  Because timing matters, and no one likes being taken off guard. Pro-tip, I endeavor to only schedule difficult conversations when all peoples are well resourced.

Grounding and initiating the conversation with Love was vital. When we began here and acknowledged what we honor and appreciate about each other—there was a foundation of care and tenderness.

Speaking slowly and softly—with lots of breaths in between—and avoiding aggressive and sharp tonality which yielded a kind and safe container. (BTW, sometimes this can be challenging for me, and is something I have been working on—because I know when I am in my softness, I am also very much in my heart.)

Naming my truth with vulnerability and crystal clarity because my needs matter. Because this is where I really get to take care of my Self inside my relationships.

Listening graciously without interrupting. Staying present with the other person’s words, thoughts, feelings, and experience was wildly helpful to our loving process. 

Taking personal responsibility without accusing the other—and really owning my part, my triggers, my wounds, my needs, my impact. They also did the same and together we didn’t blame or shame but opened up to understanding and intimate connection.

When we can communicate with consciousness, love, and Self responsibility—everything is possible. We can have healing, reparation, intimacy, connection, and love in our relationship.

Wouldn’t you agree, the world needs this? 

If you are in conflict, whether in your business or personal world, you may want to try any of these tools for a healing and loving conversation. If you do, leave a comment below and let me know how you go. 

I hope they make a difference for you and your relations.

Thanks for your read here.

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