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For Tender Hearts

A few weeks ago I ended a relationship exploration dance with a man I was dating. It wasn’t a long connection, but it was deep connection. As a Lover, and one who fearlessly leans in with a wide-open-loving heart, when we called it off—my heart contracted. Grief, sadness, disappointment, longing. Ouch! Have you been there?

The good news is that I used many of the healing tools that I know, love, trust, and teach and have been able to recover with resiliency so that I could show up powerfully in my life and be fully present with my business and clients.  

If you have been experiencing a tender heart too—whether over a break-up, the passing of a loved one, or simply the weight of the world—here are some practices that you may find transformational for your healing, consciously and confidently …

❤️ Feel your feelings. Anger, rage, sorrow, grief, and distress are all part of the human experience and deserved of your attention. It can be tempting to distract and numb—and, in small doses that’s ok too—but giving yourself the gift of feeling your feelings will help you to fully resolve the issue, avoid long term suffering, and prevent dysregulation from lingering in your nervous system. Try dedicating a certain amount of time, like 5-15 minutes a day, to grieve, cry, feel, and emote.

❤️ Converse with your inner child. We all have a young part of us that if we choose to listen—has a lot to say. Get still, quiet, and intentional, and ask your young one, “What do you want / need?” When you give space for this kind of curious conversation, you can hear what your inner child has to say. Honor and give them with what they want and need—so that they feel heard, safe, and loved.

❤️ Journal it out. Whether first thing in the morning, midday, or before bed, allow yourself the opportunity to unpack and process what occurred—with free writing. Trusting that no one will ever read your words, you can safely empty what is full.

❤️ Mine for gold. Every tender experience holds beauty. As you are ready, spend time contemplating what gifts you might be receiving from the situation. What are you taking for your Self that will propel you into your future for good. Remain open, as there is always gold to mine.

❤️ Go to the land. Whether it is an urban tree, a beloved pet, a roaring river, your growing garden, or a camping spot away from it all—the natural world is balm. Try spending as much time as you can with the more-than-humans for comfort and acceptance.

❤️️ Emotional release. Turn up this playlist and dance, power walk, scream, sing, air box, pillow pound, or tantrum. These somatic practices liberate and release tension, stress, and any other emotion you may be holding in your body. Endeavor to do this daily, ideally at the start or end of your day.

❤️️ Receive love. Your friends, family, and loved ones are waiting and wanting to listen and love on you. You do not have to go through this tender time alone. Reach out and receive support; and know that you are worthy of their time, presence, care, and kindness.

❤️ Ritualize it. You may enjoy creating a ceremony or a ritual to mark this potent experience. Light a candle, say a prayer, create an altar, and release what no longer serves. This may just be the thing to help you integrate and regulate.  

❤️️ Allow time. Your heart has its own timeline and as Trevor Hall sings, You Can’t Rush Your Healing. Let yourself relax into the truth that it is ok to take your time to heal and that time will in fact eventually heal you.

Processing the experience, feeling feelings, and receiving support are vital for the healing journey. I know I could not have moved through my tender heart time without these practices.

Which practice do you most resonate with, or will you try on? And, what helps you to move through a tender time? You can let me know by simply replying to this email as always, I’d love to hear from you!

PS ~ Remember that we all go through tender times and you are not alone. If you would like support with consciously healing on the inside so that you can confidently create your powerful life on the outside—please reach out!

Thanks for your read here.

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