It sounded heavy. Obligatory. Like joy had left the Zoom room. So I gently asked her if I could offer a reflection on her language. She said yes.
And what I shared with her is something I want to share with you, too—because we all slip into this sometimes.
And I get it—because I used to talk like that too
Especially when I was operating from other people’s expectations. Doing things I thought I should do in order to be successful, liked, or seen as “doing it right.”
But here’s the thing. When our language starts to fill with “need to” or “should,” it’s often a sign that something’s off
Not necessarily with the tasks themselves, but with where that voice is coming from.
Let’s be real: that voice usually isn’t yours.
Oftentimes, it’s a parent. A former boss. The algorithm. The patriarchy. Your fifth-grade teacher who said you’d never be a leader.
“Need to” and “should” are the language of someone else’s expectations. Someone you are likely trying to impress, influence—or grab the attention of—consciously or not.
And that language? It can be disempowering.
Because the truth is: you didn’t start a business to live out someone else’s to-do list. You started a business to create freedom. To be of service. To bring something beautiful, meaningful, and that authentic into the world.
You deserve language that aligns with your purpose
Language like:
✨ “I choose to.”
✨ “I want to.”
✨ “I’m ready to.”
✨ “I get to.”
It might sound simple—but the words you use shape the energy you lead with.
And when you start speaking with agency—you are Leading with Love. In your business. In your relationships. In your life.
So, if you’ve been feeling disconnected from your joy, or like your business is running you—it might be time for a reset
Not of your systems, but of your language. Your leadership. Your connection to greater purpose.
This is what I love to do with my private coaching clients.
Together, we do the deep inner work to understand what you’ve learned about you believe you “should” and “need to” do—so that you can powerfully move forward with what’s true and most aligned for you.
We slow down. We get clear. We recalibrate your business to match who you are now.
If that kind of support sounds good to your nervous system, I’d love to invite you to a no-pressure, trauma-informed exploration call. We’ll talk about your vision, what’s getting in the way, and whether coaching together could help you step forward with more clarity, joy, and alignment. You can book it here.
And remember:
✨ You don’t need to be more productive.
✨ You don’t need to prove yourself.
✨ You don’t need to hustle to be worthy.
You’re already enough
Let’s build your business from that place
PS: What’s one “should” or “need to” that’s been running the show for you lately? I’d love to hear—feel free to send me a message and share.
PPS: Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is pause, get honest about what’s not ours, and choose again. You’re allowed to do that—as many times as you need.