We’ve had over four spacious weeks to unpack and unwind our relationship and “consciously uncouple.” A process that I have heard of, was curious about, but never done myself.
Why?
Because our culture suggests—whether overtly or subtly—that when you end a relationship: you have failed. That you should protect yourself, save face, assign blame, and move on quickly …
No myth of perfection over here.
I have fallen into that trap myself, and it’s come with a spiral of shame that says: maybe, I’m just not good at relationships.
Oof, if that’s you too ~ I see and feel you.
Which is why, early on when we decided to de-escalate—and I caught myself in those old, unhelpful beliefs—I knew that I wanted to do it another way.
I knew that I wanted to “de-shamify” my experience around relationship endings.
I knew that I wanted to grieve, celebrate, honor, and harvest all that was.
I knew that I wanted to move through the transition with intention and the same Love we brought to our relationship..
I chose the path of conscious uncoupling because I know that how we end things matters. It influences not only the chapter we are ending, but also the one we are entering.
Has there been fear? Yes.
Tender sadness? Of course.
Mystery & liminality? Abso-freaking-lutely!
But in navigating through this transition consciously, I also feel my wholeness.
I am grounded in the truth that Will and I had a successful 2 ½ year long-distance, growth-oriented, life partnership.
I am heartened by the rituals and ceremonies we’ve done together in private, and the witnessing and holding that we’ve received from friends.
I am empowered by how I’ve used my authentic voice, body, and wisdom to create a clear vision for what’s next.
And, I am content knowing I am complete with this chapter of our relationship—ready for what’s next.
It has been a powerful and potent transition.
And, what I’ve come to believe is that conscious uncoupling is possible, no matter what kind of transition you are moving through: outgrowing an identity, dissolving a relationship, leaving a role, facing a health diagnosis, ending a pattern or behavior …
There is another way.
When you stay awake to your transition, and move through it with intention, you can …
—Fully complete your old chapter, so that you don’t carry resentment or misaligned patterns with you.
—Navigate the in-between with self-compassion and grounded energy.
—Step into what’s next with clarity and confidence.
If you are wanting to make your transition happen with more excitement and less dread—you don’t have to go at it alone.
This is the work I live and embody, and it’s exactly what I love doing with women in my private coaching.
I’m here for you, Sister. If you are ready for support in your transition, you are welcome to send me a message.