This Is Part Of The Transition Territory

I am grateful to report that we are still navigating a sweet passage and fully supporting each other as we move into our independent next chapters, lives that feel even more aligned than anything we have known before.
 
For me, that looks like deepening my life here in Portugal and Europe … with my friends and community, learning the language, traveling, and becoming more rooted in this place.
 
Even with a somewhat clear vision, there is still a lot of mystery and unknown.
 
I have lived in Portugal for the past 2 ½ years with a long-distance partner, and I do not yet know what it is like to be here as a single woman.
 
So the question of “Who am I now?” feels very alive, present, and appropriate.
 
And so does fear.
 
Fear of not knowing who I am becoming.
Fear of surprise heartache.
Fear of building a life I have never lived before.
 
But here is what I know to be true: transitions with any amount of unknown stir fear—and that is normal.
 
Whether we choose the change or life chooses it for us. Whether it is a breakup, a move, a career change, an identity shift, a loss, or a beginning. All of it can bring us to the edge of the known and invite us to move without having all the answers.
 
And so, I am here to normalize fear.
 
Fear does not mean you are doing anything wrong.
Fear does not mean you are not meant for the transition.
Fear does not mean you should stay where you are.
 
It means you are entering unfamiliar ground. It means something in you is changing.
 
And the work is not to eliminate, slay, banish, or even release the fear.
 
The work is to get into right relationship with fear.
 
To get to know it. To notice it and name it. To understand it. To learn from it. To be curious about it.
 
And ultimately, to stay in action and move with the fear rather than let it stop you.

A few ways I work with fear are … 
 
Track where fear lives in my body. I notice what it feels like. Get curious about what it is protecting, and what it might be here to teach me. Mine tends to settle in my heart, and it is often asking me to trust myself.
 
Bring my fear to the Earth. I ask the natural world to help me with what feels too heavy to carry alone. I recently did this by bringing it to the river, and it was potent.
 
Take one small step forward. I know I do not have to be fearless to begin. I did this by buying a car—a bigger investment that feels exciting and scary, and one that will give me more freedom to explore Portugal.
 
I am sharing about my personal transition and the fear that comes with it because I know so many women are in a similar place. I hope hearing my version offers something useful or comforting.
 
If you are navigating some form of transition—or standing at the edge of one—I am here with you.
 
And, if you feel called to share about it with me, I’d love to know: what transition you are in right now. You can send me an email, which I promise to respond.