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Don’t Be a Ghost 👻

Have you ever had the traumatizing experience of being ghosted? Yes, it can be traumatizing when someone essentially vanishes on you into thin air like a ghost! 👻

I have and it was painful AF! (A story for another blog but here’s the podcast if you wanna hear the details of that time I drove 2+ hours to meet a date at hot springs and he no-showed! 👻👻👻)

Whether a person you are dating disappears on you, a dear friend stops responding to your texts, a social media follower randomly blocks you on Facebook, or a client who you are certain is going to start working with you completely goes away—ghosting is not cool.

As a Leader of Love—and someone who cares deeply about their relationships, which I know you do—I invite you to not ever disappear on someone without communicating your truth.

Don’t be a ghost!

👻 Yes, it is easier to run from an uncomfortable situation.
👻 And, yes it is easier to avoid an awkward conversation about why you are not interested in maintaining contact.
👻 Of course, it is easier to dodge confrontation or deal with someone else’s hurt feelings.
👻 And yea‚ it is easier to cease all communication and hope the hint is delivered.

You have my complete and total compassion if that is sometimes you—especially if it’s because your nervous system is activated by a past trauma.  

But when you take that easy road—there is an impact. Ghosting can have a real psychological effect on the person who is being ghosted.

Grief. Loss. Shock. Shame. Denial. Rejection. Depression.

Don’t get me started—remember, I have been there. It sucks!

So, dear one—the next time you feel the impulse to step away from a connection whether personal or professional without explanation perhaps because you are feeling triggered, frustrated, scared, overwhelmed, or avoidant—I hope you will consider not doing so.

I hope you will consider leaning into communication.

I hope you will consider being responsive.

I hope you will consider connecting by returning the email, sending the text, having the phone call, and closing the loop.

Even if it’s hard. Even if it means being vulnerable. Even if it means you quivering. Even if it means you speaking your beautiful truth.

This is being a Leader of Love.

It could look something like this …

“Hey! I want you to know I am needing to take space from our dating / friendship. I’ll reach out when I am wanting to connect.”

Or …

“I have had a change in heart and no longer feeling called to work with you. I’ll let you know if that ever changes.”

Or …

“I realize that I don’t feel good when we connect, and I want to feel good in my relationships—so I am not going to engage right now.”

Or … (and this one is mine for you …)

“Hey, I am not ghosting you but whereas I used to send you weekly emails, I am needing a bit more time and space to work on other things right now. Don’t worry, it’s still important to me to write you and receive your emails—but in case it feels like I am less available, it’s not personal. I love you.”

Speaking your truth with directness and kindness can be tricky! But it doesn’t have to be. 

It’s my passion and what I specialize in helping my Coaching clients. Because when you communicate clearly, with responsibility and gentle care—and don’t run, hide, or ghost others in your personal or professional life—you have access to better and more authentic relationships. 

It’s what Leaders of Love do.

If you want to become a Leader of Love in your life & work, if you want to speak your truth directly, with kindness, instead of feeling inauthentic or frustrated—then I invite you to connect with me for a call. In this complimentary conversation, we’ll explore the areas in which you want to lead with Love, the relationships (or work) where you want to feel more authentic, and what fully expressing your truth might look and feel like.

Thanks for your read here.

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I sincerely hope so!

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